me at most tests
I have this headcanon where Steve’s son is born with his original health maladies and wants to grow up to be just like his dad - and Steve is confronted with all these feelings of inadequacy as a father because he realizes his son can’t grow up to be like him. But no kid will probably ever be better protected from bullies, considering who all his uncles are. It’s probably just a matter of time before Uncle Tony builds him some really sweet replacement braces (“Should they have spinning rims? I feel like they should have spinning rims.”)
YOU SEE THOSE JAGGED BITS ON THE FLOOR?!
THAT’S MY BROKEN HEART.
I love puns.
i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road
in year 10 i wrote a story and when i got it back my teacher told me he couldnt sleep properly after reading it
please publish that story
there should be a two year period after high school where it is socially expected that kids not work or go to school or do anything…
I DONT GET IT SOMEONE EXPLAIN
THEN FUCKIBG TELL ME
She looks dumb as hellit’s more embarrassing that they’re still together
why do they look so happy to be there? they standing out in the mall with big ass grins on their faces like “haha aren’t we a cute couple? this is the third time my boyfriend fucked another girl so i had to get creative with the punishments.” she’s dating a dude who not only cheated on her but has the worst taste in shoes of any human being to ever live
My eyes started tearing up.
He’s so fucking stoked to have his little foot, I’m a mess…
My body is ready.
I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?
…it is ice cream and caramel
why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple
did the tumblr community bully someone away about fucking food