wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
oh look it’s the leader of the free world breaking the cardinal rule of chipotle
"Retract your arm immediately, Mr. President"
do you ever check how much time there’s left of an episode just to make sure they won’t stop there
why are dolls from the 1920’s-50’s always the ones that are haunted?? i wanna see a haunted anime love pillow
[/warbled demonic voice]IM NOT YOUR WAIFU, SHITLORRRDDD
when your parents walk in when a sex scene is on
do you ever catch yourself thinking of something so weird and fucked up that you have to stop mid-thought and your face is
Night Vale dropping some truth
the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.new york to haiti
greenland is right out
ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want
Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.
Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?
There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.
In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:
As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.
Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.
Angelica summing up what having responsibilities really means.
'Honey I'm going to the super market'
'We're all out of yellow'
I wonder what I’ll have for breakfast tomorrow?
Maybe a hot, fresh bowl of not at Comic Con